Home Wanted For Good Dog

This is a last-ditch attempt here:

"Samba" is thirteen years old, a black lab/shepherd mix. Well-trained, polite and obedient, and with no pressing health problems.

Samba needs a caring home for her last few years. She is tolerant of children and friendly to cats.

Samba will fight with other dogs, and needs to be in a home with NO other dogs. Apart from this, she has a lovely personality and will be a good companion. Ask your friends, and your friends' friends, and let's see if we can find a home in Trinidad for this sweet old doggie.

Summer Sailors

The Summer Sailors are happy. They got their certificates, including "Best Sailor" for Chas again... A hat trick!

Things We've Found In Pockets, Oh Dear...

A LOT of Toco sand. In the dryer. Poor dryer.

One Dead IPod Shuffle. Oh dear.

Granola Wrapper.

Shells.

Beach Glass in Blue and Green.

And things I found in my inbox: Some seriously excellent chicken-catching ideas, which may or may not work but will be given due attention. So far, we've caught NINE of them using the "sneaking-up-under-cover-of-darkness-and-grabbing them-by-the-leg" technique and the "noose-around-the-neck" technique. Saturday night, Chris caught one using an original dive-tackle technique, and I can't remember when I've laughed so hard. A newly-caught chicken makes such a racket of strangled cretaceous yells that it's easy to believe, when hunting them in the backyard jungle of the night, that they are closely related to velociraptors. Which they are, you know.

Many thanks to our young chicken-catching assistants; Mikey, Jesse, Chas, Sam and Max. Who thundered through the garden weilding their torches like strobe-lit hunters, yelling "QUIET!" "HE'S OVER HERE!" "NO HE'S NOT!" And to Sean and Chris, who yelled "STOP SHINING THAT TORCH IN MY EYE!" and sweated buckets in an effort to de-chicken the yard. Keep up the good work!

Only 78 chickens (approx.) left to go! If we could get Samba the dog into the chicken-catching action in a USEFUL way, she would be a boon. At the moment, her retriever instincts kick in after the catch has succeeded and she tries to overexcitedly retrieve the chicken from our grasp. She is enjoying herself tremendously, rushing around at night helpfully getting in the way and regretting it the next day. She looks at me as if to grumble "I'm too old for this."

The other interesting thing in my inbox was a link to BC Pires Blog! I didn't even know he had one. I bet you didn't either, or you would have told me, surely. Thanks, Diana!

So what about you, internetties? What have you found in pockets? And is there anything good in your inbox?

The Complete Hen

The Complete Hen

Now and again I like to see

A hen who still roams wide and free,

Who crosses roads and flies o’er ditches,

Who cackles till she gets the stitches,

Who hunts for grasshoppers in the stubble,

And scratches merrily in old rubble,

Who cocks her head when the roosters crow,

Who knows all things a hen should know:

When to obey the housewife’s call

And when to pay no heed at all,

Where grubs grow best, and how to roost

On some low branch without a boost;

And last of all, to prove her worth

(Her nearness to the rights of earth)

Let her become an agitator,

Fixed enemy to the incubator,

And obstinately steal her nest

And shelter chicks beneath her breast.

Elizabeth Coatsworth.

Our hens are quite "complete", as Elizabeth Coatsworth put it. They have interbred with game hens, fighters and bantams in the village, and no longer lay "one a day" like good rhode islanders should. They disappear for weeks and reappear with fourteen more mongrel non-layers just like themselves. They are fiendishly difficult to catch, wild and untrusting. Mum's adventures in chicken-catching keep us busy plotting ways and means: Building traps, sneaking up in the dead of night, shooting at them and spiking the feed with rum have FAILED, sometimes spectacularly! We need a new plan. A good plan. These chickens have to go, if Mum is going to have any success starting again with a nice new flock of friendly layers.

Keeping chickens has it's ups and downs, as I've mentioned before... The eggs are so amazingly delicious that for years the boys didn't like to eat "shop eggs" because they had "no taste". "REAL" chicken eggs that you go and steal from under a chicken before breakfast are creamy, tasty, and have bright orange yolks that stand up like a ping-pong ball when you fry 'em. Not much like the watery flavourless stuff we eat now since our chickens have given up producing!

So we're going to eat the chickens, à la The Swedish Chef. But first we have to catch them. Does anyone have a plan? Any brilliant ideas? Put your thinking caps on. We're getting desperate here!

Facebook!

I'm at it again. Moving to a new (old) country has me all facebooky, and I have 49 friends!!!!! And they are all tagging photos of me from since when, so I spent a narcissistic TWO HOURS checking myself out.

Not ONE photo of me in my Chanel Suit and briefcase heading off to my high-powered job. (You don't HAVE a Chanel suit, let alone a briefcase, Nan) SHHHH!

All of the photos are of Nan partying down, Nan lying in the grass, Nan spilling her beer, Nan scantily clad, Nan playing with small children, Nan frolicking on yachts, Nan dancing with numerous old men. (I love you, old men! Alas that my father-in-law's knees are not what they once were.)

So here's the deal: We will plan a day where we all go out to somewhere smart, and we dress in little black jackets and put our glasses on even though we are not reading. We will borrow someone's briefcase, and take turns photographing one another in thoughtful poses. Then we will tag the photos and post them. Because let's face it, nobody is going to take a picture of me giving a lecture, training counselors, overseeing an installation, or going to the bank. They will wait till my top falls off and I'm doing the sexy wine with Bruce in one shoe.

We need to take control of our facebook lives! That way, when our future employers check out our facebook pages, (and they DO, I've heard) they will say "sure she can party, but look at how serious and well-dressed she is!" A balanced profile is what we're aiming at here, people!

Tomorrow, I'm going to wear something decent when I go to town. I bet nobody takes my picture.

Mosquito Swatter Instruction Manual

Main Character:

1. Rechargeable Type: It furnishes 2 pcs.of 1.2V high quality rechargeable batterieswhich can be recharged in recycle for more than 600 times. It is quite practical and economic.

2. Twice-speed discharge: It adopts an innovative twice-speed discharge circuit which can output 2500V in a moment. So, it has the best result forhitting mosquito.

3. Electric shockproof net: It can kill mosquito which is sucking on human bodies but it is harmless to human. when touching the net on flat surface,without any feeling of electric shock, so, it is safe for use.

4. Leakproof net: It consists on a special 3-layer net which can easily catch insect and never leak out.


Directions:

1. When charging please use AC 100-240V, 50HZ power source.

2. Before using,please charge the batteries for 8-15 hours.

3. When hitting insect, you can easily kill them by just pressing it's switch.

4. When the indicator twinkle,it indicate that the batteries run out. Then, the swatter should be recharged for 8-15 hours.

Warning:

1. For more safety,do not press the switch or touch the ourface of the net when swatter is in charge.

2. Please do not finger the medium-layer net.

3. Please shake swatter for cleaning off insect carcasses which remain in net. Be sure don't wash it in water,so as to avoid a shortcircuit.

4. The swatter may become without high-voltage or in low-voltage conditions when it absorbe damp in wet weather,the effect will be declined. Then,it can be dried by blowing with electric blower or shining with sunshine. The effedt will be recovered soon.

5. Children must instruce under adult when use it.


(Ever been shocked by one of these things? daaaamn! But oh! what satisfaction to see the nasty mosquitoes diiiie!)

Book Reviews!

Sam is reading Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book". This book recently won the The John Newbery Medal for the most outstanding contribution to children's literature, and Sam cannot put it down. I had to surgically remove it from him last night, (OOOOONE MOOOOORE PAAAGE!) and this morning he read it while eating, brushing his teeth, dressing, walking to the car and on the way to sailing camp. Lord knows what he's doing at camp, probably hiding in a tree. I said "Gosh, I didn't know UFOs landed here at this time of year!" and he said "Mmmmm-hmmmm?"

"The Red Tent" by Anita Diamant. I had read this some years back, and loved it, and couldn't remember what happened. Re-reading it was like seeing an old friend and catching up. I kept saying "Oh, YES! Now I remember!" I love this book. Dinah, a daughter of Jacob's from the Old Testament, tells the story of her life as a girl, mother, midwife and crone. I laughed, I bawled.

"The Lovely Bones", by Alice Sebold. Teen is murdered by sicko, and then the book becomes something beautiful. She watches life go on on earth without her, in a hopeful and humorous story.

"The Yoga Teacher" by Alexandra Gray. If you liked "Eat, Pray, Love" then you'll like this. I did. "Grace" quits her job as a pharmaceutical rep, and finds herself.

"Wind, Sand And Stars" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. This is "The Little Prince" for grown-ups. His imagery is so beautiful. I also read "Southern Mail" and "Night Flight". Saint-Exupery describes the early days of flight, the African desert, and a host of characters so well that you think you might bump into them at the airport.

"Each man must look to himself to teach him the meaning of life. It is not something discovered: it is something moulded. These prison walls that this age of trade has built up around us, we can break down. We can still run free, call to our comrades, and marvel to hear once more, in response to our call, the pathetic chant of the human voice." - Antoine Saint-Exupery: Wind, Sand And Stars.

Hey It's Good, To Be Back Home Agaiiiiin...

Ah John Denver, I bet I could write an entire post in Denver quotes! Feeling a bit John Denverish tonight, could it be our imminent departure from the country life?

I haven't been replying to my commenters lately, but myyyyy goodnessgraciousme, you are the best. Thank you. So much encouragement, humour and support! In fact, the outpouring of family, friendly, and comment luuuurve has helped me over the few minor hurdles and annoyances and I would like to give you ALL chocolate and flowers. And would you like some books? We've still got plenty!

I'm slowly making my way through my list of things to do. Things like, "Get immunization cards up to date" and "Open Internet Banking" and "Arrange Other Bill Payments" and "Collect Money Owed". There is so much nitty gritty that has to be done, and it feels SO good to cross things off of a list. Next week the boys have more sailing camp, so I will try to get as much done as possible then. Afterwards, I will hand over my car to her new people, and hunker down at home with my packing, and decide what to do with my dog.

The Dog.

She's a sensitive subject at the moment. When I am away, Samba pines, coughs, and stands in the rain looking dejected. She generally gets sick, and has to take mega-antibiotics when I leave her, but not always.

Samba is thirteen years old, and HATES other dogs. She is not keen on children, either, but does not bite them. She just leaves the room when kids are near. Samba lived with two old spinsters for most of her life, and is accustomed to having a quiet, refined life, with tea and cakes at four o'clock, and warm wooden floors to lie on and a nice bed if she wants it. No-one ever raised their voice around Samba before she came to live here. I think she's done pretty well in adjusting to our lifestyle, where there are children and men and yelling and sudden crashes daily. Samba has never growled at anyone, and is good with cats. She does not steal food, and stands still when having a bath.

The last time Samba pined and got sick (a terrible cough) when I left her, I decided that before we left for the UK, I would put her to sleep. The Splendid Vet would come here, and Samba would be spared our leaving her for good. Now, I'm not so sure. She has such a lot of spunk, and maybe, maybe she could get used to a new family. Or a new person, preferably elderly and female and dogless. She is used to sleeping in the house, but a covered porch or airy garage might do.

So I'm putting it out there: What shall I do with the dog? Is there an elderly, female, dogless person out there who would like the company of an elderly, well-behaved, obedient lab/shepherd mix? She sheds. But she is gracious, friendly and pleasant as long as small boys are not dropping Fun Snaps next to her head. If there's a home out there for Samba, please drop me a comment and introduce yourself. Owners of other dogs need not apply!

The Gumbie Cat

"I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;

Her coat is of the tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots.

All day she sits upon the stair or on the steps or on the mat;

She sits and sits and sits and sits- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!"

T.S. Eliot's Gumbie Cat poem makes me wonder what Lulu is getting up to at night. She certainly appears capable of great things, despite never being seen doing them. She is sitting upright at the foot of my bed now, like a nursemaid: "Go to sleep now, stop that silly typing", she says. She's got things to do, and her people must be out of the way in order to do them.

I had better go, then. My mistress obviously has plans for the night!

I Am Sure I Had Something Witty To Say...

I KNOW I had some really good stuff for you today, internetties, but it's 8.36 pm and I'm a bit like Cinderella: The belle of the ball by day, a pumpkin by night. I should have posted it the moment I got home, but I went to visit Mum for tea instead and she had me in stitches describing her PVC guttering and water tank repairs fiasco and her new chainsaw chain and plans thereof. I am going to miss all of the dramas of life here, when I am living in the Developed World. I hear I won't be allowed to carry my knife around in my handbag. Much less a cutlass under my car seat. Whatever will I do when there's a tree across the road?

So when ARE we going to the Developed World? In ONE MONTH, that's when. Yes folks, we've got tickets.

Excuse me while I add 27 things to my list.....

Max's eyes got even bigger and rounder than usual when I told the boys we have tickets. He has only been on a plane once, to Tobago the other day (Poor deprived third child!). So I said "Aunty Ailis and Uncle Dan will be so happy to see you, Max! And Aunty Beans too!" And he seemed okay again. I think that leaving his extended family is a bigger deal for Max than for any of us. He is very close to Mum. They all are close, actually, but being a Deprived Third Child, it's good to have grandparents a short stroll away to go and visit and see what they've got going on! When he especially hates his beastly brothers, Mum says "Oh sweet Max, stay here and spend the night with ME." Then she reads him stories and loves him like only a Grandmother can.

But Max can always see the silver lining! We can all learn a lesson from him, the youngest Grade II sailor: "You know why I am SUCH a great sailor? Because I'm so short I don't have to duck when I tack!"

Rainy Kayakers

I love this shot. The boys spent HOURS every day kayaking, occasionally joined by an uncle or dad. The rain never stopped them. In this shot, they are all tied together, making their way across the bay to swing on the rope swing into the bay.

The specks in the sky are pelicans and frigate birds. They were there in their hundreds, eating all of the bait out of the fishing nets nearby.

News Flash: "Do We Haaaaave To Go Home?"

Yes folks, the boy who said "I TOLD you I don't WANT to do sailing this year, Muuumm" had to be dragged outta there this afternoon and is sleeping the sleep of the exhausted sailor, dreaming of another "best ever" day of sailing tomorrow.


Highlights:

There's a boy named James, from Ireland, who scored a goal at lunchtime.

Sam's team won "catch the flag" or whatever you call it.

They had hotdogs (Max dropped his and had to buy another), burgers, and the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever for lunch. (Sam: the grilled cheese sandwich is cheap too! I can save half my food money!)

I went by Debs and nattered and drank tea.

Day one, A Plus!

O Summer Camp, How We Do Love Thee!

Dear Summer Camp, you are the best!
Sailing, swimming, all that stuff.
And at the end, a written test
To see if kids have learned enough.

Can you all tie your half-hitches?
Bowlines, eights, and sheet bends too,
Clove hitches, thank you Sean,
I'd never have remembered that one without you!

Homeschooling was great, it really was,
And our family is closer this term and all,
But Mama needs some boy-free time
And sons, she's gonna have a ball.

The bigger boys say "Sailing! O Hooray!"
They are as glad as pigs in mud,
And Max says "I'm not, I don't wanna"
Well I've got some news for you, bud.

We're hitting the road at six o'clock,
Braving the rush hour and the race.
Slathering on the zinc sunblock,
So you don't get a freckly(er) face.

I just know that you'll have fun,
Kicking a ball and eating fries
With friends (and others) in the sun
Sailing racecourses and acting wise.

Competition! Injury! Can we finish this?
Are we a team, or will we fall apart?
Can we do optimists this year?
Will we be the first off at the start?

Every year, sailing is a blast!
First aid, angles, and apparent wind direction...
When I collect you all at last,
You'll be exhausted to perfection.

Every night you'll lay your tired heads
Upon your pillows and sigh "tomorrow?"
I will tuck you, nodding, into beds
And darlings, there will be no sorrow.

Termites, Laundry, And A Book Review

In case you thought our lives were just about extended vacation time? They ain't. I haven't written much this week because I haven't had time to download photos from our most recent expeditions or compose witty captions. Plus, Chas has taken my camera into the rainy bush, where I hope it doesn't fill up with water again. Not much computering is going on here.

Instead, Sean and I are using our child-free days to de-termite our house with deadly poisons, etc.

"Etc" being many boring things that have NO place in this blog, like laundry. And some fun things too, like very long bar lunches and vodka.

I interrupt this post to give you a Book Review! "Infidel" is the autobiography of Ayaan Hirsi Ali . Click on that link for the Wikipedia page on her. Ayaan writes beautifully of her childhood and turning her back on her religion. This book is an eye-opener, I would love to meet Hirsi Ali.

Speaking of reading, I've been catching up on everyone's blogs and boy have you been busy! I hope to reach the end of my blog list today, and know y'all's news. Your comments have been a really great welcome home, thank you!

Sean is fixing stuff. He is a genius. My car is getting new tires. Sam and Max return tonight from Tobago, and we will stay the night at my in-law's to avoid termite poison. The weekend will be busy with this and that, and the boys start sailing camp on Monday. This means rush-hour traffic and getting there on time and eating fries for dinner, as in days of yore, and will remind us of school and work and things that we haven't thought about since March!

But First, The Highlights.....

Today, we came back from our annual Summer Holidays Down De Islands Extravaganza. It was great! I read five books! FIVE, While lolling in the shade. Good friends visited. We kayaked. Russell won "Best Supporting Actor" in a move that will go down in family history. Diana and Kelly and I solved all of the problems of the world and ought to be hired to straighten it all out. We drank plenty of wine, because people kept on bringing us bottles, and we ate masses of fresh just-caught fish. Photos, book reviews and details to come! 

Tomorrow, Chas is heading into the bush for five days, to be an actual real-life rainforest research assistant, to count bugs. He is wild with excitement! This is so incredibly up his alley. 

Sam and Max are going to Tobago in the morning to snorkel with their grandparents for three days. Lucky boys! Tomorrow is also Sam's birthday! 

So you can probably picture the crazy unpacking, laundering and repacking of various smelly wet clothes, the speed-shopping at the grocery, the driving up and down, and the hurting of my feet right now. I seriously need a shower and a bed, and so, without further ado, I bid you goodnight! 

Leapin' Lizards!

Jellllyfeeeesh!

Isn't it beeeeoooteeful?

We caught another one which had a tiny fish INSIDE of it, eating the jellyfish's brains out! Of course, jellyfish don't actually have brains. Or so they say. But it was extremely cool anyway! We kept this one for a while, in a 2-liter soft drink bottle with the top half cut off. We didn't think that the residents of our other temporary aquarium would appreciate sharing with Medusa Of Death.

Island life!